在美國一所著名大學裡的歷史課上，教授正在向來自各國的同學提問：「『要生存還是要滅亡。』這句名言出自誰的口中？」
沉寂了半天之後，古田站起來說：「威廉•莎士比亞」。
「很好。」教授說了又問：「那被譽為『歐洲的良心』是指誰？」
古田：「羅曼•羅蘭」。
「完全正確，同學們，剛才回答問題的是位日本學生，可是來自歐洲國家的學生卻答不出來，太遺憾了。」教授不無感慨的說道。
「幹死小日本！」突然有人發出一聲喊叫。
「誰！誰說的！」教授氣得語音都顫抖了。
「杜魯門說的。」約翰站了起來。
「你以為自己在幹什麼？」教授生氣的說道。
「馬丹娜說的。」傑克也站了起來。
「這真叫人噁心，簡直無法無天了。」教授渾身氣得發抖。
「喬治•布希說的。」斯蒂芬也坐不住了。
課堂立刻陷入了混亂之中，所有的學生都開始議論紛紛，一些學生開始起哄：「耶！它夠勁！」
「克林頓對萊溫斯基說的。」瑪麗毫無表情的接話道。
教授憤怒得說不出話來，隔了一會，他大踏步的向門外走去，到門口時，他冷冷的看了所有人一眼：「我會回來的。」
「阿諾•史瓦辛格說的。」鮑勃終於插上話了。
古田委屈的一攤手：「我沒做什麼壞事，為什麼會這樣？」
「張國榮說的。」李小麗一臉掛著崇拜的神情回答。
所有的學生都圍成一個圈，湯姆有些垂頭喪氣：「該死，我們完了。」
「希特勒說的。」伊漢諾娃立刻回答。
賴特歎了口氣：「今天將是一個很有意義的日子。」
「賓拉登說的。」克瑞斯終於為自己能說出一個名字而得意。
「這決非是我最得意的一天。」古田慚愧的說著。
「托尼•布萊爾說的。」已經不知道誰在回答了。
這時校長和教授一起進來，他臉色鐵青，幾乎是一字一頓的說道：「你們要為此付出代價！」
「史達林說的。」全班同學異口同聲的回答。
「我錯了嗎，我錯了嗎，難道我錯了嗎？」這回換教授在吶喊。
全班同學異口同聲回答：「台灣錢總統阿扁說的！」
摘自北一女校友部落格http://blog.sina.com.tw/8608/article.php?pbgid=8608&
entryid=312109
2014年4月17日 星期四
2014年4月15日 星期二
把洋蔥的兩頭切掉，插在叉子上，然後把叉子放在花瓶裏
上周我有兩個午餐會不得不取消，
一個加拿大朋友把下面這封郵件發給我和一些朋友。
In 1919. When the flu killed 40 million people, there was this doctor that
visited the many farmers to see if he could help them combat the flu. Many
of the farmers and their family had contracted it, and many died.
>1919年，當流感造成了四千萬人死亡時，
The doctor came upon this one farmer, and to his surprise, everyone was very healthy.
這位醫生來到一家人家。出乎預料，這家的每一個人都非常健康。
When the doctor asked what the farmer was doing that was different, the
wife replied that she had placed an unpeeled onion in a dish in the rooms
of the home (probably only two rooms back then).
醫生詢問這家的做法與其他人家有何不同，
The doctor couldn't believe it, and asked if he could have one of the
onions, and place it under the microscope.
醫生無法置信，
She gave him one, and when he did this, he did find the flu virus in the onion.
她給了他一顆。醫生觀察時真的在洋蔥上發現了流感病菌。
It obviously absorbed the bacteria, therefore keeping the family healthy.
顯然，洋蔥吸收了病菌，因此讓這家人保持健康。
visited the many farmers to see if he could help them combat the flu. Many
of the farmers and their family had contracted it, and many died.
>1919年，當流感造成了四千萬人死亡時，
The doctor came upon this one farmer, and to his surprise, everyone was very healthy.
這位醫生來到一家人家。出乎預料，這家的每一個人都非常健康。
When the doctor asked what the farmer was doing that was different, the
wife replied that she had placed an unpeeled onion in a dish in the rooms
of the home (probably only two rooms back then).
醫生詢問這家的做法與其他人家有何不同，
The doctor couldn't believe it, and asked if he could have one of the
onions, and place it under the microscope.
醫生無法置信，
She gave him one, and when he did this, he did find the flu virus in the onion.
她給了他一顆。醫生觀察時真的在洋蔥上發現了流感病菌。
It obviously absorbed the bacteria, therefore keeping the family healthy.
顯然，洋蔥吸收了病菌，因此讓這家人保持健康。
Now, I heard this story from my hairdresser in Arizona .
如今，我從亞利桑那州我的理髮師那裏聽到類似的故事。
She said that several years ago, many of her employees were coming down
with the flu, and so were many of her customers.
她說幾年前她的很多雇員感染流感，她的很多顧客也是如此。
The next year, she placed several bowls with onions around in her shop.
To her surprise, none of her staff got sick. It must work . . .
次年，她在她的理髮店裏放了幾個果盤，裏面放了一些洋蔥。
(And no, she is not in the onion business.)
（真的，她並不做洋蔥的生意。）
The moral of the story is, buy some onions and place them in bowls around your home.
故事的核心是，買一些洋蔥吧，把它們擺放在你的家裏的果盤裏。
If you work at a desk, place one or two in your office, or under your
desk, or even on top somewhere.
如果你是坐辦公室的，在你的辦公室裏，或者辦公桌下面，
Try it and see what happens. We did it last year, and we never got the
flu. If this helps you and your loved ones from getting sick, all the
better.
試試看效果怎麽樣。我們去年做了，
If you do get the flu, it just might be a mild case.
如果你仍然得了感冒，也許會是比較輕微的症狀。
Whatever, what have you to lose? Just a few bucks on onions!
不管結果如何，你又會有什麽損失呢？ 除了幾顆洋蔥之外！
Now there is a P. S. to this for I sent it to a friend in Oregon who
regularly contributes material to me on health issues.
>下面是後續。我把這個送給我在奧爾良的朋友，
She replied with this most interesting experience about onions:I don't
know about the farmer’s story, but I do know that I contracted pneumonia,
and needless to say I was very ill.
她回復說了關於洋蔥的最有趣的實驗： 我不知道那個農民的故事，但是我知道我得了肺炎。不用說，
I came across an article that said to cut both ends off an onion, put one
end on a fork, and then place the forked end into an empty jar, placing
the jar next to the sick patient at night.
我讀到一篇文章，建議把洋蔥的兩頭切掉，插在叉子上，
It said the onion would be black in the morning from the germs. 據說，洋蔥會因爲病菌而在次日清晨變黑。
Sure enough, it happened just like that. The onion was a mess, and I
began to feel better.
果然，事情跟說的完全一樣。 洋蔥看起來糟透了，但我卻開始好起來。
Another thing I read in the article was that onions and garlic placed
around the room saved many from the black plague years ago.
那篇文章還談到放在屋子裏的洋蔥和大蒜在多年前的黑死病中救了
如今，我從亞利桑那州我的理髮師那裏聽到類似的故事。
She said that several years ago, many of her employees were coming down
with the flu, and so were many of her customers.
她說幾年前她的很多雇員感染流感，她的很多顧客也是如此。
The next year, she placed several bowls with onions around in her shop.
To her surprise, none of her staff got sick. It must work . . .
次年，她在她的理髮店裏放了幾個果盤，裏面放了一些洋蔥。
(And no, she is not in the onion business.)
（真的，她並不做洋蔥的生意。）
The moral of the story is, buy some onions and place them in bowls around your home.
故事的核心是，買一些洋蔥吧，把它們擺放在你的家裏的果盤裏。
If you work at a desk, place one or two in your office, or under your
desk, or even on top somewhere.
如果你是坐辦公室的，在你的辦公室裏，或者辦公桌下面，
Try it and see what happens. We did it last year, and we never got the
flu. If this helps you and your loved ones from getting sick, all the
better.
試試看效果怎麽樣。我們去年做了，
If you do get the flu, it just might be a mild case.
如果你仍然得了感冒，也許會是比較輕微的症狀。
Whatever, what have you to lose? Just a few bucks on onions!
不管結果如何，你又會有什麽損失呢？ 除了幾顆洋蔥之外！
Now there is a P. S. to this for I sent it to a friend in Oregon who
regularly contributes material to me on health issues.
>下面是後續。我把這個送給我在奧爾良的朋友，
She replied with this most interesting experience about onions:I don't
know about the farmer’s story, but I do know that I contracted pneumonia,
and needless to say I was very ill.
她回復說了關於洋蔥的最有趣的實驗： 我不知道那個農民的故事，但是我知道我得了肺炎。不用說，
I came across an article that said to cut both ends off an onion, put one
end on a fork, and then place the forked end into an empty jar, placing
the jar next to the sick patient at night.
我讀到一篇文章，建議把洋蔥的兩頭切掉，插在叉子上，
It said the onion would be black in the morning from the germs. 據說，洋蔥會因爲病菌而在次日清晨變黑。
Sure enough, it happened just like that. The onion was a mess, and I
began to feel better.
果然，事情跟說的完全一樣。 洋蔥看起來糟透了，但我卻開始好起來。
Another thing I read in the article was that onions and garlic placed
around the room saved many from the black plague years ago.
那篇文章還談到放在屋子裏的洋蔥和大蒜在多年前的黑死病中救了
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